Did You Ever Notice?

The Apostle Paul once said, “Confession is good for the soul.”  For the record, I have never personally met the Apostle Paul, but I have read many of his letters several times.  Sounds creepy, I know.  So, I’m going through his mail. Sue me.

Anyway, about this confession, I have to admit that I have always been jealous of Andy Rooney, the commentator on “60 Minutes.”  That same Bible says we should not covet, but I am going to admit, I wanted Andy’s job.

Think about it.  While the other correspondents were covering terrorists in Afghanistan or Hurricane Katrina, Andy was snug in his office, still in front of a typewriter, sharing random thoughts which consistently began with “Did you ever notice?”  I sure did, Andy.  And I wanted your job.

Always wondered how Ed Bradley, Leslie Stahl or Mike Wallace might have felt when they were headed out to cover stories in the uttermost parts of the world and Andy would be at the water cooler.  “Did you ever notice how rude those TSA agents can be?”  Shut up, Andy.

“60 Minutes” has been a Sunday night staple in American television.  You knew when that ticking stopwatch came up on the screen, sometimes delayed by a football game, you were in for some amazing journalism.  Celebrity interviews were less fluff and more facts on “60 Minutes.”  The standard joke in PR is you know it’s going to be a bad day when you arrive at work and Mike Wallace is waiting in your lobby.

So I wake up this morning to learn that Andy Rooney is dead at age 92.  The silver haired curmudgeon just retired about a month ago.  That’s not long at all, about half of a Kardashian marriage.  Despite the cushy job, we will miss Andy Rooney.  He always said the things we were thinking.  Some of my favorites:

“All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.”

“Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

“Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.”

“Elephants and grandchildren never forget.”

Andy’s commentaries at the end of “60 Minutes” were like a sorbet at the close of a very satisfying meal.  It almost made bearable some of the bad news we had just consumed.

We’ll miss you, Andy.  Ninety-two years is a long life, but you lived it well, right down to the last second on the “60 Minutes” stopwatch.

But don’t worry.  I’m not gunning for your old job.  

Those are some big eyebrows to fill.