Standing in My Place

If your kids are like mine, sometimes you get short notice on the meetings, performances and special events down at the school.  Take, for example, today’s Veterans Day Celebration at Woodstock High School.  My senior daughter told me about it late last night, as the whole family was headed to bed. 

“The chorus is singing tomorrow for a Veterans Day program, if you want to come,” she said.  That’s teen speak for “This is important to me and if you’re not there, it means you love my older sister more than me.”  I immediately set the alarm.

As instructed, I arrived at the school around 9:30 AM, all bundled up for the stadium, but because it was so cold today, the event was moved to the gym.  As I took my seat in the bleachers, the varsity singers and orchestra were warming up on “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” while members of the ROTC, decked out in their uniforms, prepared to escort local veterans and their guests to reserved seating on the gym floor.

At this point, the room was mostly empty, and I snapped a few photos with my phone.  Then the floodgates opened and hundreds of students poured into the arena. Some walking, some running, some jumping: It was that unrestrained teen spirit driven more by missing biology than saluting American patriots.

Then a young man from the ROTC unit asked for silence, and most complied as the ceremony began.  Young men and women in uniform formed an archway of swords as a list of veterans and their escorts was read.  World War II, Korean War and Desert Storm were there.  Some walked slowly, with the aid of canes and walkers.  Some looked younger, and walked faster.  All were escorted by wives, grandchildren and other family members.  

An unexpected lump formed in my throat.  These people weren’t playing some role in a play.  They had been in foreign lands, faced fierce enemies, saw death and somehow returned home, so you and I can sleep more soundly at night.

The band and chorus struck up a medley of armed forces themes, asking members of each to stand as their theme was played: Army, Navy Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard.  The applause was always polite, as members stood and saluted. Another lump and slightly moistened eyes resulted.

Colonel Michael Boyce, USMC (Retired) speaks at
Woodstock High School Veterans Day Program 

Colonel Michael Boyce, USMC (Retired), served as speaker, and did an excellent job in knowing his audience.  “I will be brief,” he promised the students, offering the adage, “To be noticed, stand up; to be heard, speak up; and to be appreciated, shut up.” Colonel Boyce reminded the students of four key character traits, “Duty, Honor, Integrity and Trust,” and quoted the promise found in Matthew 25:23, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Something he said could apply to everyone who serves the nation in uniform.  


It was a beautiful ceremony, capped off with the wife of a Woodstock teacher singing, “God Bless the USA,” and the audience standing and applauding on the last chorus.

One poignant moment came early in the program when the color guard brought in the flags for the National Anthem.  As the anthem closed, the audience was told to be seated, but the colors had not been formally dismissed.  While the rest of us followed instructions, four of the older veterans being honored remained standing, saluting at full attention until the flag had officially left the floor.  

They weren’t offended or rude, just obedient and respectful of the training they had received.  We were sitting, while they were standing.

Somehow, that was the loudest message of the day for me: Veterans standing where I should have stood. And for that, I am forever grateful.

God Bless the USA. 

Did You Ever Notice?

The Apostle Paul once said, “Confession is good for the soul.”  For the record, I have never personally met the Apostle Paul, but I have read many of his letters several times.  Sounds creepy, I know.  So, I’m going through his mail. Sue me.

Anyway, about this confession, I have to admit that I have always been jealous of Andy Rooney, the commentator on “60 Minutes.”  That same Bible says we should not covet, but I am going to admit, I wanted Andy’s job.

Think about it.  While the other correspondents were covering terrorists in Afghanistan or Hurricane Katrina, Andy was snug in his office, still in front of a typewriter, sharing random thoughts which consistently began with “Did you ever notice?”  I sure did, Andy.  And I wanted your job.

Always wondered how Ed Bradley, Leslie Stahl or Mike Wallace might have felt when they were headed out to cover stories in the uttermost parts of the world and Andy would be at the water cooler.  “Did you ever notice how rude those TSA agents can be?”  Shut up, Andy.

“60 Minutes” has been a Sunday night staple in American television.  You knew when that ticking stopwatch came up on the screen, sometimes delayed by a football game, you were in for some amazing journalism.  Celebrity interviews were less fluff and more facts on “60 Minutes.”  The standard joke in PR is you know it’s going to be a bad day when you arrive at work and Mike Wallace is waiting in your lobby.

So I wake up this morning to learn that Andy Rooney is dead at age 92.  The silver haired curmudgeon just retired about a month ago.  That’s not long at all, about half of a Kardashian marriage.  Despite the cushy job, we will miss Andy Rooney.  He always said the things we were thinking.  Some of my favorites:

“All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.”

“Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

“Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.”

“Elephants and grandchildren never forget.”

Andy’s commentaries at the end of “60 Minutes” were like a sorbet at the close of a very satisfying meal.  It almost made bearable some of the bad news we had just consumed.

We’ll miss you, Andy.  Ninety-two years is a long life, but you lived it well, right down to the last second on the “60 Minutes” stopwatch.

But don’t worry.  I’m not gunning for your old job.  

Those are some big eyebrows to fill.

This is only a test

You’ve seen it many times before.  You’re watching your favorite TV show, or the big college football game, when suddenly the screen goes dark, followed by the worst gosh awful noise since the fax machine or dial-up Internet.  It’s a test of the Emergency Alert System (EAS), or worse, the real thing in case of a tornado, tornado warning, missing person or other local emergency.

It’s actually a good system.  Think about it.  You’re lost in the fantasy of some wonderful movie, or celebrating the come from behind victory of your favorite team.  You might not even notice that the skies have turned dark and winds picked up right outside your door.  With the EAS, all programming is interrupted like a slap across the face to make you aware of the problem at hand.  There’s a tornado down the street, Genius.  Better get to the basement.

This concept has been around for a while.  In fact, it started the year I was born, 1963, as the Emergency Broadcast System, changing over to the Emergency Alert System in the late 90s when cable and satellite channels got on board.  It is generally well coordinated jointly between the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), the National Weather Service and state authorities. 

Although, I do remember 2000 when Carlos Santana and Matchbox 20 were up for Record of the Year at the Grammys.  I was doing PR for a major telecommunications provider, and around the close of the show, after winning the award, the band struck up “Smooth” only to be interrupted by a test of the Emergency Alert System.  It’s not a very pleasant sound, especially when compared to your favorite song. 

As usual, we were blamed for the interruption and I spent the rest of the week trying to convince authorities we should delay EAS tests until after massively popular songs are played on live TV.

So now the next step.  On Wednesday, November 9, 2011, FEMA and the FCC will conduct the nation’s first ever test of a nationwide Emergency Alert System.  Authorities say the purpose of the test is to determine if a national-level system is needed should the President ever have a message for all of us, at one time, from sea to shining sea.  Hmmm.  During election season?  Not so sure.

Regardless of your politics, there’s no debate that we have a President who likes to talk.  I am trying to imagine how tempting a system like this might be to a “great communicator” here in the Twitter and Facebook generation: “My fellow Americans, is it just me or does Simon seem to be softer on The X Factor than he was on American Idol?”  “My fellow Americans, do the Christmas decorations go up a little earlier every year at the mall?” “My fellow Americans, Go Bears!”

I’m just not sure this is needed.  Like politics, the best news coverage is best handled at the local level.  The national TV networks seem to clamor for reasons to break into regular programming for breaking national news.  CNN and MSNBC, in particular, can’t get enough of the man in the Oval Office, so I have a hard time thinking we’d never hear from him.  So I wonder if this is really necessary.

To be honest, at our house, we have learned about Michael Jackson’s death, Bin Laden’s killing and protestors in the Middle East through social media long before the national TV networks or an emergency broadcast system.  Maybe we should pursue more of that.

Next week’s test will happen mid-afternoon, around 2:00 PM EST, and run about three-minutes across your favorite radio and TV channels, regardless of broadcast, cable or satellite.  So enjoy.  We’ll get back to you on the results.  But somehow, I’m sure it will be a huge success and implemented in time for the Republican presidential primaries.

To learn more about the national EAS test, visit FEMA at http://www.fema.gov/emergency/ipaws/eas_info.shtm or the FCC at http://www.fcc.gov/encyclopedia/emergency-alert-system-nationwide-test.

We now return you to regular programming, featuring Santana and Matchbox 20.

Thin Crust Politics

New Hampshire holds it’s Presidential Primary next December, and voters there got their first look at Republican hopefuls in a CNN debate held Monday night in Manchester.

The stage was set with seven candidates, ranging from the familiar faces of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and Texas Congressman Ron Paul to newcomers like Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachman, former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum and Georgia businessman and radio personality Herman Cain.

No Sarah Palin and no Donald Trump; and, if only for the entertainment value, that was kind of disappointing.

CNN’s John King was the moderator, promising right at the start to do his due diligence in keeping answers brief, on topic and even threatening to interrupt if necessary.  No bells or buzzers here, just his persistent and irritating guttural sounds trying to keep the answers short, in this Twitter generation of 140 characters or less.

The topics were what you would expect: Jobs, health care, social security.  Voters raised questions about how candidates would balance their approach to governing, with pressure from the Tea Party and others.  There were questions about Libya, our overall national defense and when we will bring troops home from Iraq and Afghanistan.  And because this was a Republican debate, there was a brief pause from unemployment and the economic crisis to talk about religion, abortion and same-sex marriage.

Overall, I thought Romney looked the most presidential while Gingrich sounded most presidential.  Paul probably appealed most to fringe voters, with unconventional answers to the matters at hand. Always ironic when the oldest man on the stage presents some of the freshest ideas.  Based on reactions from Twitter, Paul catches the attention of independent voters and even Democrats.

For Bachman, Cain, Pawlenty and Santorum, it was mostly a chance to introduce themselves and become acclimated to the national stage.  Bachman tried her best to make news, using the debate to announce that she is officially a candidate --- beyond the exploratory phase --- with paperwork filed and a news conference set for later this week.  Cain, an African-American businessman and former CEO for Godfather’s Pizza, proudly introduced himself as “not a politician” but a businessman with 43-years experience.  Pawlenty and Santorum tried to get in as much of their resumes as possible, before King started hemming and hawing with those noises to stop them.  (Note to CNN: Next time, a bell or buzzer, please)

The introductions were intentionally brief in the form of a 30-second or less “elevator speech,” just giving the essence of who they were.  For a moment, it sounded like a contest in propagating the species.  Santorum weighed in with seven children; Bachman touted five natural born children, but 23 foster kids; Romney mentioned five sons and 16 grandchildren.  Reports say at that point, Jim Bob Duggar of TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting” contemplated throwing his hat in the ring.

As much as I hate to admit it, one of the debate’s most interesting facets came from a cheesy trick Moderator King used going in and out of commercial breaks.  He called it “This or That.”  Pop culture questions designed to give us a more personal glimpse at each candidate, beyond the talking points.

And what did we learn?  Plenty, if your idea of hard core journalism is People Magazine.  Senator Santorum doesn’t watch much late night TV.  Who could, with seven kids?  But when hard pressed, he prefers Leno over Conan.  Bachman got a music question: Johnny Cash or Elvis?  The presidential novice took the safe route: She loves them both, but did admit to having an Elvis Christmas album on her iPod. 

Later in the debate, the candidates became more decisive.  Dancing with the Stars or American Idol? “Idol,” Gingrich said bluntly.  BlackBerry or iPhone? “BlackBerry,” said Congressman Paul, who is probably more comfortable with a blackboard.  They threw the pizza question to the Godfather: Thin crust or Deep Dish? “Deep Dish,” bellowed Cain in his deep baritone.

Spicy or mild wings, was posed to Governor Romney.  “Spicy,” he said proudly.  Don’t want to appear weak on your wings.  And Coke or Pepsi?  “Coke,” said Governor Pawlenty.  There must not be a big Pepsi presence in the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes.

There were no major gaffes or punches thrown among the seven candidates.  Barack Obama was clearly the target here, with Congresswoman Bachman proclaiming him a “one term president.”  Romney said the president has ignored the main issues of the economy, restraining government and establishing a strong foreign policy.

But when the biggest cheers come from the pop culture questions, it reminds you that as Americans we often prefer our politics served on thin crust.

Getting Real about "Reality TV"

The time has come for a brief commentary on the phenomenon of “reality TV,” which is a real misnomer since very few of these shows have anything to do with reality.  Let me admit up front, I am not writing from the standpoint of someone who avoids these shows.  Like junk food, I am drawn to them, and watch most if not all of what comes through my screen.

As a student of pop culture and broadcasting, I think money is the driving factor here.  Think about what it would cost to produce a series like “Desperate Housewives” or “House.”  There are elaborate sets, costumes, actors, equipment.  There is no Wisteria Lane, you know.  It’s a back lot at Universal Studios in Hollywood.  If you look closely, Beaver Cleaver’s house is on that street.  If his show was on today, Beaver could be having an affair with Eva Longoria, and Wally and Eddie would “give him the business.”

On the other hand, reality TV requires none of this.  Just a small camera crew to invade the lives of some freak show family somewhere, and some canned music.  No need for writers, or sets, or special effects.  Even better than the low production costs is that fact that we, the American public, can’t seem to get enough of these shows.  That means the high ratings that advertisers covet.  Ah, capitalism.  Such a sweet smell.

So, what are we watching?  “Celebrity Apprentice,” “American Idol,” “The Voice?”  All reality shows of a certain genre.  But there’s also “Cake Boss,” “Kate Plus Eight,” and “Sister Wives.” And, as much as we’d like to, who can forget “The Real Housewives of [insert city here].” 

Remember when TLC was “The Learning Channel,” with the goal of expanding the classroom into homes?  Not anymore.  It’s just TLC.  Sort of like KFC doesn’t like to get bogged down in details about the chicken.

And these titles barely scratch the surface.  I haven’t even mentioned similar shows on MTV, A&E, truTV and others. They all have their niche audiences and try to serve them well.  And the real people on these shows are now considered “celebrities,” so they write books, go on tours and learn to dance the Argentine Tango.

As a child of the 60s, I can remember classic shows like “Andy Griffith,” “Petticoat Junction,” “Mary Tyler Moore” and “Love Boat.”  These were shows starring actual stars, and I still talk about them to this day.  Sometimes I worry how my children will explain the “celebrities” of this day to my grandchildren.  “Why, that’s Snooki, darling.  She was a…um…let’s see what else is on.  How about Barney the Dinosaur in 3D.”

The other fear with reality TV is the attempt to one-up the last popular show.  Eight kids are not enough, how about 19 and counting?  One wife is not enough, how about four?  Cupcakes are not enough, how about hoarders? Sixteen and pregnant is not enough, how about someone who didn’t even realize she was pregnant until that stomach ache weighed in at 8-pounds, 7-ounces?

I’m not convinced that we somehow become better people by watching other families with problems worse than our own.  Isn’t that the appeal of “Jerry Springer,” “Dr. Phil” and “Maury?” 

Not saying you shouldn’t watch these shows.  It’s your right as an American, and that’s why there are 200 channels and even an off switch.  And books over on that shelf…somewhere.

Just be careful what you choose before your family starts reflecting the many problems and issues shown on TV.  Now, that’s getting real.

Griffin's Graffiti: Of Garth Brooks and Varuca Salt

Griffin's Graffiti: Of Garth Brooks and Varuca Salt: "I have always enjoyed country music. It’s not something I listen to exclusively, but who doesn’t enjoy the occasional tune by people like ..."

Of Garth Brooks and Varuca Salt

I have always enjoyed country music.  It’s not something I listen to exclusively, but who doesn’t enjoy the occasional tune by people like Jo Dee Messina, Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban or Kenny Rogers?  

As a rule, country music makes you feel good.  It might be the beat of the song, or the fact that your life may be bad, but nowhere near the dysfunctional lives portrayed in most country tunes.

You’ve heard the joke.  What happens when you play a country record backwards?  You get your wife back, your truck back and your house back.

Several years ago, I heard a Garth Brooks song that bothered me.  And I like Garth Brooks.  The majority of his songs are very entertaining and he is the consummate performer.  But this one stuck in my craw, as they might say in a country song.

The song is called, “Unanswered Prayers.”  It starts off simple enough.  He’s back at a high school football game and bumps into an old girlfriend, the one that got away.  He remembers how this was the woman he wanted more than anyone else in the world, and how he had prayed for them to be together.  Somehow, it never happened.

Then, take it to the chorus:  “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers; Remember when you’re talkin’ to the ‘Man Upstairs;’ Just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean He don’t care; Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

My first rub is calling God the “man upstairs.”  He is the sovereign creator of the universe who rules and reigns over every molecule that makes up you and me.  The man upstairs is some guy named Clyde who plays his Hank Williams albums too loud and parks his bass boat too close to your car in the parking lot.

But that aside, the bigger issue is there are also no “unanswered prayers.”  I believe God always answers prayers with Yes, No or Wait.  We just don’t like the last two answers.  Our society demands instant gratification.  We are Varuca Salt from “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” only worse.  We want it now.

I am the father of two daughters and, like many dads, would love to give them everything they want.  But suppose they came to me back when they were 6 and 3 asking for a Harley Davidson motorcycle.  While my heart would want to please them, common sense says no or wait.  Granting this wish would have had tragic results.

The same is true with God.  He knows what’s best for us and sees the big picture better than anyone on or off the planet.  We must trust His answers about our marriages, careers, hobbies as much as my kids should have trusted me turning them down on that Harley.

Psalm 37:7 says, “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” And in Isaiah 40:31 we read, “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Makes me think that when God says No or Wait, He is also renewing my strength…recharging me for the next big chapter in my life.  So I should rest in that, and prepare to soar.

Garth was partially right.  “Just because he doesn’t answer, doesn’t mean he don’t care.”  But there are no unanswered prayers.  God answers every single one, perfectly, right on time and based on His big picture.

Now, about those friends in low places.

Power of the Hoodie: From Business Casual to Business Comatose

For as long as I can remember, a coat and tie have been the appropriate dress codes for anything of importance.  Wedding, funeral, job interview --- all appropriate places for wearing a coat and tie.  Your “Sunday best,” as it were.  Some occasions demand that we “gussy it up,” as Daddy Warbucks said to Annie.  Or as 30 Rock’s Jack Donaghy puts it, “No tuxedo after 5:00 PM.  What are we, farmers?”

As a kid, I always knew a relative was sick and not doing well when mom took me down to Sears-Roebuck for a new dark suit.  Still have nightmares about how they always led me to the Husky department. You could throw together a sports coat and khakis for some things, but other events required the coat and tie, and a suit of some description.  There was even the “leisure suit,” but that’s a topic for another day.

In my first jobs out of college, a coat and tie were mandatory every day at the office.  I worked for a Chamber of Commerce and a county Board of Commissioners.  When I got into cable TV, I was introduced to the concept of “business casual.”  Keep the dress shirt, but lose the tie, and put on a sweater vest.  It was a comfortable look that took me back to the preppy days of high school and college.  Generally the thinking was if you are not “customer-facing” that day, then go business casual.  It said we meant business, but in a laid back sort of way.

About the time I was getting comfortable with all of this, along came people like Mark Zuckerberg at Facebook, who has taken business casual to a whole new level.  More like business comatose, in the eyes of my peers.

Business comatose says lose the coat and tie, and lose the dress shirt.  Heck, lose the sweater vest and the dress pants.  Replace them all with jeans, your T-shirt Du Jour and an amazingly versatile item known as a “hoodie.”  Don’t zip it up too high, that’s part of the look.  You have to show off that logo on your t-shirt, which is making a statement about the environment, politics or the Rolling Stones.  And if you don’t shave that day, no problem.  Unshaven actually compliments the overall look of business comatose.

The message is clear: The man who has everything wears anything.  And I like the Rolling Stones.

A friend of mine recently sent me a photo of Avner Ronen, CEO for a company called BOXEE.  It’s a product that brings TV and movies to your flat screen through a wireless or Ethernet connection.  Ronen was standing behind a podium at the Westin New York at Times Square, speaking to a large group of people wearing a t-shirt and hoodie.  He looked perfectly comfortable, if not downright comatose.

I imagined myself, closing in on 48-years-old next month, standing in a hotel room preparing to go downstairs and speak to a conference.  Would I wear my dark suit and power tie or a hoodie and Letterman t-shirt?  It appears that the hoodie would be the more appropriate choice, at least according to the cool kids in class.

But before we lock this in as Gospel truth, let me interject this question.  Are the hoodie and t-shirt only acceptable below a certain age, say 30?  As a senior, more experienced member of the team, should I continue to wear my dress shirt and sweater vest, as a tribute to bygone generations?

Feel free to weigh in on this issue in the space provided below.  I would like to hear from you.  And if this is the age of the t-shirt and hoodie, could the “wife beater” and sweats be far behind?  Now those are really comfortable.  I may need Clinton Kelly and Stacey London on this one.In the meantime, work hard, be yourself and embrace the power of the Hoodie.  It’s a new age where dressing for the job you want might lead us all down to the car wash. 

The Gospel and Charlie Sheen

Human nature has always been fascinating to me.  We settle into routines, going back and forth in our daily lives, but oh how we seem to enjoy a good car wreck along the way.  We slow down, stretch our necks to see more closely, and drive away thinking, “Man, I am glad that wasn’t me.”

Such is the case with Actor Charlie Sheen.  For now, his life is the proverbial car wreck across our path, and it’s virtually impossible to escape.  If you’re late to the party, Charlie Sheen is an actor, the son of another actor, Martin Sheen, and he is going through quite the meltdown.  Charlie has had a successful career on both the big screen (Platoon, Wall Street, Major League) and the small screen (Spin City, Two and a Half Men).

As a result of this success, Charlie has a lot of money, but has proven to be extremely immature and irresponsible in his personal life.  By any yardstick, Charlie has had his share of problems: Drug and sex addictions, alcoholism, failed marriages, a penchant for prostitutes, and the list goes on.  Because of his fame, and an admittedly magnetic personality, Charlie gets to see his dirty laundry daily on TV and in the tabloids.  This week, he took his disputes with CBS and others public in a hyper-media push on The Today Show, Good Morning America, Piers Morgan Live and TMZ --- pretty much anyone who would listen.  I swear, I thought I saw him on QVC at some point.

During these interviews, Charlie has been everything from lucid to lunatic.  And as car wrecks go, it has had its elements of entertainment.  He mixes in lots of self-aggrandizement, with lines like “Sure, I’m on a drug, and the drug is Charlie Sheen,” or claiming to have Tiger’s blood in his veins --- still not sure if that’s the jungle animal or the billionaire golfer.  Both might apply.

As I’m flipping through the channels and stumble across Charlie, I have to admit that I stop.  He has this crazed look, but can also make statements that are quite profound.  One minute, he’s making perfect sense, and then just as quickly he looks like Jack Nicholson in “The Shining.”

Last night, he joined Twitter, and built up thousands of followers in a matter of hours, possibly a social media record.  So, why the fascination?  I still think it has something to do with my Jerry Springer theory.  No one admits to watching that crap, but we do.  And when we do, part of us sits back and says, “Wow, I’m screwed up, but not as much as those people.”

Here’s my point.  Charlie Sheen is no better or worse than any one of us.  What he is doing is what any of us might fall into, if faced with the same luxuries or circumstances. 

In Romans, the Apostle Paul writes, “Oh, wretched man that I am.  Who will save me from this body of death?”  Wretched people --- that’s you and me, and everyone.  We are all wretched, apart from the saving grace of God.  Wait, you mean Christians are sinners and not perfect?  Absolutely.  The difference is, as a Christian, you are bought with the blood of Christ, adopted by God the Father, and supported by the Holy Spirit against endless battles with “the powers of this dark world and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”  Without Christ, you face those same challenges but alone, and that ensures ultimate defeat.

In Ephesians, Paul writes that we were all “dead in our transgressions and sins gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts.”  But then Paul adds a “but,” and for that I am so thankful.  “But God, being rich in mercy, made us alive in Christ, even when we were dead in transgressions --- it is by grace you have been saved.”

Grace…the unmerited favor of God.  That’s why we call it amazing in our hymns.  Totally undeserved, unmerited and unattainable, apart from the act of a Sovereign God.

As I watch the Charlie Sheen story unfold, I hear these verses and see myself.  This is normal behavior for someone dead in their transgressions.  Cast stones if you will, but I pray for Charlie’s salvation.  Not because I think he would make a trophy guest on TBN, but because with all of this attention on him and his life, God would be glorified, and Charlie would be saved.  

I’m not sure what God has in store for Charlie Sheen.  But I would love for him to have a Damascus Road experience, somewhere out there on Rodeo Drive.  Instead of “Two and a Half Men,” I want him to have an encounter with the three-persons of the Trinity: God the Father, Jesus the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

Bet that would make for great breaking news.   

The Money Game

There’s a famous letter between a guy named Paul and his friend Timothy where the older says to the younger, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”  This Paul knew what he was talking about.

For as long as I can remember, I have never been very good with money: asking for it, respecting it, spending it or saving it.  I fail on all accounts, checking or savings.  I remember my first checking account at the old DeKalb Federal Savings and Loan on Highway 138 in Conyers, Georgia.  It was the mid-70s, and I had a job in radio.  These were the days before the ATM, when you actually had to come face-to-face with a real person and talk about your account.  You could go in the lobby or drive-thru.  I loved the drive-thru because of those magical pneumatic tubes.  Place the check into this little container designed by NASA, put it in the tube and hit the button.  It went up into the ceiling and inside to the pretty teller.  I would try to see how many times we could go back and forth for one transaction.  “Oh, did I keep your pen?  So sorry.  Can you send the rocket ship back to me, please?”

In those days, you would deposit your check with these slips of paper where you would write the amount with “less cash received.”  I loved less cash received, since that was money coming right back to me for important things like pizza and video games.  The teller had the upper-hand here though, because she could see my balance on the large computer screen.  It was never that impressive.

She would look at my balance and back at the “less cash received.”  “Is there a problem?” I would ask.  She would shake her head and suggest that I take back less cash than the less cash received.  I needed it for my balance.

“Okay, how about $50 instead of $100?”  She would shake her head in disapproval.  “Okay, $25 instead of $50?”  No again.  “Then you tell me what to do.”  This was always followed by a look that I always felt communicated, “Eat less pizza and play fewer video games, you loser.”

See, the ATM could never do this.  It has no personality, morals or sense of loyalty.  It will give you what you ask, no matter what the implications might be.  In my native Atlanta, the first ATM was at First National Bank and her name was “Tillie the All-time Teller.”  I hated Tillie.

At my bank, the ATM was called, “You again?”

Now, here it is, 30 years later, and you would think I would be better at this game.  I am married with two teenage daughters after all.  Some level of maturity has to kick in, right?  Not necessarily.  Not with money, anyway.

My wife pays the bills and keeps the checkbook.  I handle the bigger issues like the protestors in Egypt, terrorism and Hollywood Week on American Idol.  The lesson we have learned in 20 years of marriage is you spend what you have.  No matter how many raises or bonuses come your way, you will spend up to the level of your income, whatever it might be.  This forces you to use those evil credit cards, and build up serious financial issues.  I know.  Whoa, Dave Ramsey, you’re moving too fast for me.

With this in mind, we met last week with a financial adviser.  He is a really nice guy that we totally trust and I am looking forward to our relationship.  For nearly four hours, we talked about things like my 401K, pension plan from a previous employer, stock options and IRAs.  It’s a great way to visit the Bahamas in your mind, and interest is compounded daily.

Out of respect for him, I won’t give his name or company at this point.  But if things work out, look for future updates and more details here.  I would love to blog about the joys of early retirement, financial independence and buying stock on the ground floor of the next Justin Bieber 3D bio flick.

Whatever the case, I always want to keep money in perspective.  My friend Paul also wrote, “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” And he wrote that while living in a sub-standard apartment in Rome, Italy, chained to some soldier or something.  Now, that’s a positive attitude.

It’s your money but only for a short time, so spend it wisely.  But don’t be coming to me for advice.