Here comes a blog on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

America's Favorite TV Family

For as long as I can remember, I have been a fan of television.  I had a great upbringing and family life.  Plenty of opportunities to socialize, go on vacations and explore the world.  I wasn’t a latchkey kid with  TV as a babysitter.  I just enjoyed TV and watched it as often as I was allowed.

In my personal TV Hall of Fame would be “The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson,” “The Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour,” “Julia,” The Carol Burnett Show,” “Sonny and Cher,” “Donny and Marie,” “Love Boat,” “The Brady Bunch,” “Seinfeld,” “30 Rock,” “Modern Family,” and “Once Upon a Time,” among many others.

I left out several, but you can see, I know my way around the tube.

So the time has come for a public comment on “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.”  She’s gross.  Her family is gross and they do not represent the State of Georgia.  They represent the State of Insanity.  And yet, we watch.  I personally set the season’s pass on our DVR for Honey Boo Boo.  Why?  Because just like a car wreck on the NASCAR circuit, it is horrible and tragic on every level and we cannot look away.

Why I love the show: Senseless, hilarious, stupid, redneck, insane.  Why I hate the show: Celebration of bodily functions, fork lift foot, disrespectful children and an unbelievable amount of gnats.  They practically co-star.

If you haven’t seen the show, a quick primer: Alana Thompson is a seven-year-old firecracker from McIntyre, Georgia (east of Macon, south of Milledgeville) who participates in those dreadful Toddlers and Tiaras pageants around the Southeast.  She is the offspring from an unspeakable union between June Shannon and Mike Thompson, affectionately known as Mama and Sugar Bear.  They both look like something Disney dreamed up for the Country Bear Band Jamboree, but less articulate and lifelike.

It’s interesting to me how a similar T&T child, Eden Wood, and her pageant mom Mickie tried to launch a career by recording a song called “Cutie Patootie” and promoting it on shows like “The View” and “The Talk.”  That’s so old school.  Alana AKA Honey Boo Boo just went on YouTube, got all glitzy and sassy and the thing went viral.  Almost immediately, TLC called and offered the whole darn family --- Alana, Mama, Sugar Bear and three other misfit daughters ---  a weekly show.  Think of the Beverly Hillbillies without all the class.  And this is real life, forklift foot, gnats and all.

And did I mention while they all speak English --- well McIntyre English --- the show runs subtitles throughout?  It’s amazing.

In Honey Boo Boo’s world, we encourage and celebrate farts and poop, glitz and glamor, in a small house that sits a little too close to the railroad tracks for my comfort and peace of mind.  It is the anti-video any Chamber of Commerce would want beaming out to the world promoting Middle Georgia.

And yet, we love it as a guilty pleasure.  Some 2.8 million people watched the season finale.  The show has averaged 2.4 million each week.  Take that you Amish Midget Hoarders with way too many wives and kids.  Here comes Honey Boo Boo Child.

I think there’s a little “Jerry Springer” psychology going on here.  “Yep, I’m screwed up, but look: I’m not as bad as those people.”

For TLC it has to be a goldmine.  All you have to do is follow these people around each week and let them go.  You can’t make this stuff up.  When teenage sister Anna birthed baby Kaitlyn, the kid had two freaking thumbs.  Sherwood Swartz would have never thought that one up for Marcia Brady.

So check it out.  It’s no “Masterpiece Theater” but it is an interesting chapter in the evolution of television.  And the truth is, I hope it lasts.  At their core, the family seems close knit and loving in some kind of ultra-dysfunctional way. 

So work it Smoochie.

State of Naming Babies



Reese Witherspoon



Actress Reese Witherspoon had a baby boy recently and named him “Tennessee.”  This caused quite a stir among my friends on Twitter, who debated what kind of future this name will bring for the child.  Whatever your name, I think you’re pretty safe as long as its spelled right in the Last Will and Testament of someone like Reese Witherspoon.  But it does raise an interesting question: Are there other states that might make good baby names?

In my own life, I have known a Virginia, Montana and a friend in high school named his extremely talented daughter Dakota.  Yep, THAT Dakota.  Although after several successful films, they changed her name to 401K.

There was Florida Evans on the TV sitcom “Good Times.”  She was first Maude’s maid, as I recall. Save that one for trivia night.  You might win some wings.

A tweet on this topic caught the attention of Hipster Baby Names (@MyNameIsPabst) who tell me some up-and-coming names include Alabama, Montana, Arizona, Alaska, Maine and Vermont.  Indiana also has a nice ring to it, but apparently that was so yesterday.

Arizona might work.  Mississippi?  Carolina?  The US Virgin Islands seems a little complicated for a kindergarten student to explain and then defend on the playground.

But make no mistake, this is an important decision.  When they are born, you give your child more than a name.  You give them an image, set expectations and sometimes stereotypes.  When we found out we were pregnant that fateful day in January, 1991, we went to Target and bought a book on baby names.  We went with Holli Elizabeth, but spelled it a little different so she’d get to be “that kid.”  It was also a tribute to my dad whose name is Hollis.  When she was old enough to add her two cents, our oldest daughter said she would have been happy with “Hollis,” but in life you have very little say that early on.

Three years later, we went with Emily Lauren, which proved to be one of the most popular names of all time that year.  Add five years and they have to add your last initial to differentiate among the giant throng.



Jason Alexander



George Costanza wanted to name his child “Seven,” which opens up a whole new world of possibilities.  Lots of numbers out there.  Why not give them a personality?

My only fear about using states as names is five years from now, first grade roll call is going to sound a lot like the Republican National Convention. 

Wonder if Reese thought about that?