There’s a famous letter between a guy named Paul and his friend Timothy where the older says to the younger, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” This Paul knew what he was talking about.
For as long as I can remember, I have never been very good with money: asking for it, respecting it, spending it or saving it. I fail on all accounts, checking or savings. I remember my first checking account at the old DeKalb Federal Savings and Loan on Highway 138 in Conyers, Georgia. It was the mid-70s, and I had a job in radio. These were the days before the ATM, when you actually had to come face-to-face with a real person and talk about your account. You could go in the lobby or drive-thru. I loved the drive-thru because of those magical pneumatic tubes. Place the check into this little container designed by NASA, put it in the tube and hit the button. It went up into the ceiling and inside to the pretty teller. I would try to see how many times we could go back and forth for one transaction. “Oh, did I keep your pen? So sorry. Can you send the rocket ship back to me, please?”
In those days, you would deposit your check with these slips of paper where you would write the amount with “less cash received.” I loved less cash received, since that was money coming right back to me for important things like pizza and video games. The teller had the upper-hand here though, because she could see my balance on the large computer screen. It was never that impressive.
She would look at my balance and back at the “less cash received.” “Is there a problem?” I would ask. She would shake her head and suggest that I take back less cash than the less cash received. I needed it for my balance.
“Okay, how about $50 instead of $100?” She would shake her head in disapproval. “Okay, $25 instead of $50?” No again. “Then you tell me what to do.” This was always followed by a look that I always felt communicated, “Eat less pizza and play fewer video games, you loser.”
See, the ATM could never do this. It has no personality, morals or sense of loyalty. It will give you what you ask, no matter what the implications might be. In my native Atlanta, the first ATM was at First National Bank and her name was “Tillie the All-time Teller.” I hated Tillie.
At my bank, the ATM was called, “You again?”
Now, here it is, 30 years later, and you would think I would be better at this game. I am married with two teenage daughters after all. Some level of maturity has to kick in, right? Not necessarily. Not with money, anyway.
My wife pays the bills and keeps the checkbook. I handle the bigger issues like the protestors in Egypt, terrorism and Hollywood Week on American Idol. The lesson we have learned in 20 years of marriage is you spend what you have. No matter how many raises or bonuses come your way, you will spend up to the level of your income, whatever it might be. This forces you to use those evil credit cards, and build up serious financial issues. I know. Whoa, Dave Ramsey, you’re moving too fast for me.
With this in mind, we met last week with a financial adviser. He is a really nice guy that we totally trust and I am looking forward to our relationship. For nearly four hours, we talked about things like my 401K, pension plan from a previous employer, stock options and IRAs. It’s a great way to visit the Bahamas in your mind, and interest is compounded daily.
Out of respect for him, I won’t give his name or company at this point. But if things work out, look for future updates and more details here. I would love to blog about the joys of early retirement, financial independence and buying stock on the ground floor of the next Justin Bieber 3D bio flick.
Whatever the case, I always want to keep money in perspective. My friend Paul also wrote, “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” And he wrote that while living in a sub-standard apartment in Rome, Italy, chained to some soldier or something. Now, that’s a positive attitude.It’s your money but only for a short time, so spend it wisely. But don’t be coming to me for advice.
